About a year ago I wrote a post (which you can read here!) about being a single girl at 34 and a half years old. Well, I’m now 35 and a half years old and I’m still single. But am I still as happy and confident with my single status as I was 12 months ago?
Recently I’ve found myself thinking more about my life as a single girl and questioning whether I’m still truly happy in my own little bubble or whether I’d be happier sharing my life with someone.
One of the reasons for me having questioned things comes from having turned 35 and realising that I’m that little bit closer to being 40! For a moment, the thought of being closer to, and turning, 40 actually scared me a little bit. And of course, being a woman, it’s obvious that my biological clock is ticking really quickly and I’m running out of time to have a family, should that be what I ever wanted. It’s not what I want now, and I can’t ever see a time where it could be what I want – kids and marriage aren’t really me. But I did have that “or is it?” thought that sewed the seed of doubt in my mind.
Another reason for my wobble is because I’ve had a mini encounter with someone from my past. Someone who I grew quite fond of but I chose to leave behind for a multitude of reasons. But my encounter has reminded me that at one time, I did want all the things most people want from life – marriage, kids and all the lovely family life that comes with it. So if I wanted it before, maybe I’ll want it again?!
In my last post about single life I wrote about there being this social expectation that you should get married, have kids, and all that kinda jazz. And that hasn’t changed and probably never will. It is what society, and usually what your parents/family, expect of you. But as I also mentioned in that post, if it’s not what YOU want from life, then I don’t think you should be coerced into doing anything that would only please other people and not make yourself happy. And that’s the way I live – I’m here to make myself happy in life and do what I want to do and not what others want, or what they think will make me happy.
I heard a phrase the other day that I’ve heard so many times before and is usually used in a jokey way, but I think it probably sums up how I feel about my single status and that was this:
“you need to find yourself a handsome millionaire and marry him”.
And I responded with:
“No I bloody well don’t. If I’m going to be a millionaire it’ll be because I made my own millions from my own success. Not because I relied on a man”.
And that was the moment I realised that single life is absolutely the best thing for me right now and all the doubts and questions went away. Maybe it won’t always be for me, but for now, I’m perfectly content. Everything I have I’ve worked for and earned myself and I’m so proud of myself for that. I won’t let anyone jeopardise that. I have a really great life just as I am. I’m buying my perfect new house all on my own and I’m going to enjoy living in it all on my own!
Maybe one day someone will come into my life, or maybe back into my life, and I’ll change my mind. But that someone will have to be a pretty amazing individual to be able to cope with me and my complete independence and desire to do stuff for myself.
My overarching message here is that in life, go after what YOU want, make life what YOU want it to be to make YOU happy. Because ultimately YOU are the architect of your own life and YOU are the most important person it.
So from this single girl, aged 35 and a half, have a fabulous Friday tomorrow!
Much love! x